Friends, has life at a cellular scale lost its grand appeal? C C# C Baug
Have your peptides lost their pep? Have your proteins begun to anneal? C C# C G
Are your amino acids flaccid? Do you suffer from limp RNA? C C# D D#
Is your protoplasm an empty chasm of boredom and general decay? If so... C B Bb A Ab G

Take heart! For I once suffered even as you suffer now C C# C Baug
Yet I stand before you the picture of health, and I can tell you how! C C# C G
So if your ribosomes are all sombre, and your nuclear envelope's licked C C# D D#
And your organelles have begun to swell, why, listen to my simple trick! C B Bb A

Mitosis! D
Will cure all your microbial neuroses D G D
Mitosis! D
There is no need to resort to apoptosis, D A A7
Mitosis! D
Just split yourself in two D G
Mitosis! D
You'll have another you D A D

So when your golgi complex goes simple and your pinocytosis runs dry D D# D C#
Just head on down to the copy room and let your spindles fly D D# D A
Get your DNA to do the splits! Throw a party in your centromere D G D A
Oh, meet me down at the telophase pub and I'll buy you a chromatid beer! D G A D

Mitosis! D
Will cure all your microbial neuroses D G D
Mitosis! D
There is no need to resort to apoptosis, D A A7
Mitosis! D
Just split yourself in two D G
Mitosis! D
You'll have another you D A D