I met a sweet Briton whose smile was so bonny G C G
Despite her attendance at a... Worldcon... ey G C D
I asked for her secret; she kindly explained: G C G
It's by tea and antiquities England's sustained Am G D G

Tea & antiquities! Tea & antiquities! D G
Tea & antiquities brighten one's mood! G C
Tea & antiquities! Tea & antiquities! C G B
Rich clotted cream is the Prozac of food. C G D G

She lectured us briskly on how to discern G C G
Blackwork from redwork on ancient Greek urns G C D
We had scones - "No, they're scones!" And sweet jammy dodgers G C G
And slowly my mood lowered its Jolly Roger Am G D G

Tea & antiquities! Tea & antiquities! D G
Tea & antiquities make me feel blithe! G C
Tea & antiquities! Tea & antiquities! C G B
The right cup of tea would make Death drop his scythe C G D G

Now I've come to the end of my British vacation G C G
I'm many miles distant from Fortnum & Mason G C D
But I hereby resolve that when I feel unsettled G C Em
I shall smile, think of urns, and go put on the kettle Am G D G

Tea & antiquities! Tea & antiquities! D G
A nice pot of nettle, or try the house blend? G C
Tea & antiquities! Tea & antiquities! C G B
A sovereign cure that I highly commend: C G D Em
Tea & antiquities savoured with friends. C G D G